To be an effective leader–and we are all leaders in one way or another–a person must have the courage and confidence to discuss something with a family member, a friend, a co-worker, or even someone you don’t know very well that may be difficult to communicate. I find this is especially true if I have to speak to someone about something they are doing the wrong way or about their needing to improve.
The other day, I participated in a conference call and at the end of the call the facilitator–a professional communicator–requested input and suggestions regarding the call. Throughout the call, I could not help but notice that she used the word “fantastic” in just about every sentence. I knew this was something I needed to tell her, so I mustered up the courage to let her know of her little challenge.
The next day, I got an email from this woman–who had taken the time to listen to the recording of the teleconference–thanking me profusely for bringing this to her attention. It was definitely a win-win all around for everyone involved and I am really glad I was courageous enough to speak up. Otherwise, she may never have realized she had acquired this bad habit; neither would she have gone to work on correcting it. This nice lady instantly became my friend and I believe my example has given her the confidence to do the same for another.
With all the writing and speaking I do, using lots of words to convey my thoughts and attitudes, I occasionally mess up in my punctuation or my spelling or even in the use of “proper” English. I have found that what I might consider to be taking creative license can
really be an irritation to those listening to me, and once in awhile I get called on it. I am always appreciative when someone brings my less than perfect language skills to my attention, and I do my best to change my ways. After all, if a person doesn’t know there is a challenge with the way they are doing a particular thing, how can they fix it?
Just be sure that when you must communicate something of this nature that you share it in a healthy and positive way. You don’t need to bark at people; you don’t need to gloat as you draw attention to their mistakes; you don’t need to discuss this person and their “issue” with others not involved. (Try to think how you would like to be told if you were in the other person’s shoes.)
There are way too many people in our world that go around tearing others down, making them feel bad. It’s much better to remember when you must confront someone about something the goal is always to build up rather than tear down and to be honest and kind in your communication. Surely you can find at least one good and positive thing to say about the person, so look for it and once you find it say it with boldness and confidence. Then go ahead and kindly deal with the thing that needs to be corrected.
Communication is difficult even under the best of circumstances, but when you must confront someone about something rather delicate or even negative, using effective communication skills–confronting with courage, confidence and kindness–is an absolute must.
