Resolving conflict begins with having the right attitude–an attitude of working hard at finding creative and innovative ways to turn negatives into positives. Take the typical reaction when somebody does you wrong. The tendency is to write them off, never to have anything to do with them again. In all reality, the wrong was probably just a simple communications breakdown, some slight misunderstanding, a jumping to conclusions, or an unfair judgment–something so slight and quite easy to remedy.
Instead of dealing with the issue head-on, you might tell others about how this person is low down and dirty, advising them not to have anything to do with that person. This is wrong; it festers and creates dysfunction, hindering growth in individuals and communities.
There is a better way to deal with such negative situations. Whenever someone has offended me, I go directly to that person and start asking questions (not in an accusing way, but very respectfully.) I am trying to understand where the other person is coming from, hoping to find a way to turn this situation around for the positive. Chances are that they didn't even realize they had hurt or offended me, so by being honest with them about my feelings, what could have become a very large negative situation affecting lots of other people, is now turned into a positive, good relationship.
Today, I have many friendships that have blossomed as a result of responding to others in this way. Ask yourself if there is someone you need to confront so you can turn that negative situation into a positive one. Then go do it!
